Before I even begin I’m going to play it safe and toss out the disclaimer I used in yesterday’s blog…
**DISCLAIMER: Please note, before you get all wadded up and unable to resist the urge to tell me how wrong I am, I am ONLY speaking from a personal perspective. I do NOT speak for all men and women. I do NOT claim to be any kind of expert on relationships although I damn well have the right because I’ve been through 3 marriages/divorces and countless other failed affairs. So keep calm and just think about what I’m about to say. End disclaimer.**
Now. Let’s do this.
As most of you know, I’m a Facebook Whore. I’m on there ALL the time. I can’t get enough of it. My entire life plays out on FB and some nights I can’t sleep because all I want to do is endlessly scroll through my news feed. I’ve got issues. Not new information and I don’t even care that I’m addicted. However, from time to time (or almost every day) I see things that make me scratch my head and wonder and because I am a classic over-thinker that’s not hard to do.
There is this page I’ve liked that is basically a girl’s diary of sorts. Status updates are written to sound like a girl is writing to her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, whichever the case may be. Some of it is helpful and I’ve hung on to it for that reason but some of it is just stupid and reasons why relationships fail. For example:
How do people get it in their heads that love means being miserable? People, it is not love that hurts! Love is not supposed to be painful.
Wrong! Don’t go into ANY relationship focusing on what you will lose. Focus on what you will gain. If you go into it already thinking about what you might lose, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
This is just a me thing but unless you know I’m awake at 3 a.m., don’t call unless your bleeding and dying. Tell me you love me after I wake up and have had coffee. Then you can share with me that you were thinking of me at 3 a.m. I’ll love you more for not calling and waking me up.
If someone you are in a relationship sends you a text, take time to respond. ACKNOWLEDGE this person you are supposedly in love with! If you can’t do that much then what is the point? What damn good are you?
Nobody and I do mean NOBODY should ever take advice from this asshole. The man has a fondness for hookers. What the hell does he know? Go through life pretending you don’t have a heart and see how lonely you end up. Go into a relationship pretending you have no heart and you don’t care and you, my friend, are destined to fail.
He needs to know. He needs to show. Vice-versa. SO IMPORTANT! Leave no room for doubt.
Don’t let another person define who you are. Be the you that YOU want to be and do that on your own. Don’t count on others for happiness. I firmly believe we all fare better in relationships (and life) if we go into them having a sense of self and our own personal hopes and dreams. If we chose to make someone a part of them then that’s great but don’t convince yourself you can’t succeed without that person in your life. This one could end up in a blog of its own!
I worry about our younger generation. Is this the kind of information they are picking up? Praying my kid doesn’t fall for this kind of crap.
Before I go, let me say this. I totally get that I come across as a bitch and selfish in my relationship related posts. I’m not. I mean I can be both but as a rule, I’m not. The reason for all of this is because I’ve done a ton of soul-searching and contemplating and have gotten to a place where I know what it’ll take to make me happy. On the flip side, I’ve done just as much OVER-THINKING on where I’ve gone wrong, the mistakes I’ve made and what I can do to change in order to make someone else happy. Affairs of the heart are a two-way street and it takes two to make them successful and fulfilling. I just hope that my next boyfriend doesn’t get his love advice from Facebook.