Ramblings of a Crazy Lady…

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*** IT’S NOT WEDNESDAY!!!  LMAO!!!!  I am so NOT going to change this!!!  Just apply my Hump Day note to next week because still that whole bird/worm thing probably won’t make sense! ***  <—– = EDIT after I realized today is Thursday.  I’ve lost an entire day.  This frightens me.

Crazy lady = me.

I’m not feeling particularly bloggy this morning, but figured I’d better write anyway simply because …well, just because!  There is always this fear in the back of my brain that if I don’t write, I’ll lose my ability to do so and that’d be no good.  Can’t have that!

I cut grass yesterday.  This excites you, no?  (In my head, that last line came out in a French accent).   If my back did not hurt so much and my legs and hands didn’t go numb I’d probably enjoy yard work a lot more.  I also got dishes washed, cabinets and stove wiped down, mopped the kitchen floor, and cleaned up my bedroom a bit.  All in all a very productive  day.  Love days like that.  Typically exhausted come nightfall but who cares?  Shit got done.

As I was cleaning yesterday, I decided this:  Somebody from NASA or somewhere should invent a cleaning chemical that acts as tiny, microscopic dynamite. We can add it to our 409 and then it can get all explode-y up in dirt’s ass. Nothing harmful to animals or humans but I think it should sound like that snap-crackle-pop cereal, ya know the one with the 3 little weird dudes? Because I want to hear it blowing up dirt.

Also, I’ll be sending this letter to the Hospital Nazi’s:

Dear Hospital Nazi That Calls Me 27 Times a Day, 

Stop it.

If I had $2,000 to give you, I would’ve given it to you by now.

This is why people who do not have insurance are actually afraid to get sick. It is because people like you are annoying as shit. We stress ourselves out trying to not get sick and all of that stress makes us sick. Then when we do get sick and we’ve no choice but to go to your hospital and then can’t pay the bill because we have no insurance we get even more stressed and end up sick again. You see where I’m going with this right? I guess you hospital people have us by the kahunas, don’t you? Are you by chance working in tandem with the gas prices people? I suspect you are and if that is the case then you are way more suck-y than I realized.

The Former Sick Person Who Doesn’t Have $2,000

But in real life, when I send this letter, I’ll be signing my name and adding this:

Or I might add this one just because it made me laugh:

Yesterday, this also made me laugh and so in keeping with my hospital/doctor-y theme:

And because now I’m thinking about birds:

You see?  Crazy Lady.

Oh!  Here’s news…I’m going to write a book.  Actually, I’m going to write a series of books and if it takes me the rest of my life, and it probably will, I’ll get these done.  Do you all remember my truck driver friend Bret?  Super intelligent dude that I feel like I can’t keep up with?  He has come up with some amazing, and I do mean AMAZING ideas for books so he and I will be working together.  I’m excited.  Nervous because there is a lot of work involved but that’s okay because basically I don’t have a life and this project will do me some good.  If I make money from it, then that’s even better.  I can’t decide if I’ll be sharing bits and pieces of my book journey here or if I’ll create a new blog dedicated to THE BOOK but either way, I’ll keep you all posted because I just know you won’t be able to sleep at night unless you know what’s happening.

Writing books, writing two blogs, constantly updating my Facebook status so all of my friends know what I’m doing every second of everyday (oh yea, I’m one of THOSE)…Hello, Carpal Tunnel.

Happy Hump Day Friends!

Now you can spend the rest of your day trying to figure out what an apple and a worm have to do with Wednesday.  If you reach any conclusions, let me know because I got nothing.


  1. ROFL! I love the bird shitting on the car and you eating eggs to show them what they’re capable of! 🙂


      1. Soo funny. You know? If you have like 20 bucks a month you could start making payments like that and try that approach with the bill, then they can’t say that you weren’t making attempts to pay the bill… and you can avoid collection procedures.

        Random thought, just popped into my head…


      2. Yea, I will. Not like my credit is all stellar and such but I hate having stuff hanging over me. Trying to get a loan paid off now and then I’ll take care of the hospital bill. Have a great day!


  2. As long as you send them something- like even a dollar- they cannot harass you. At least where I live, they can’t. And they can’t turn you over to collections, either. Good luck!


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