While you sit there reading this, moaning and groaning because it’s the goofiest blog you have or will ever read, be sure to thank The Hobbler. This was all her idea! I LOVE her ideas! Oh, and I cheated a bit. I did use the three most popular search terms used to find my blog but threw in a couple more.
Once upon a time there lived a boy named Duckface Kirk. As you might imagine, from his name, he was a homely boy although he wasn’t born this way.
He began life as Kirk. Just Kirk. A happy-go-lucky kid who spent his winters with friends building snowmen and his summers playing ball at the local baseball field near his home. Unfortunately, Kirk got caught up in the duckface picture trend so popular with kids and well, his face got stuck. It was sad really. The duckier he got, the more his friends made fun of him until eventually he left his home and moved far away to the Road to Nowhere.
He spent most of his days quite alone, with only his WordPress blog to keep him company. You wouldn’t think there would be internet on the Road to Nowhere, but what a lot of people didn’t know about ‘ol Duckface was his aptitude for stealing WiFi from long distances. He was a genius! But unfortunately, instead of the world knowing how truly intelligent he was, he blogs were mostly silly and featured pictures of women with big boobs walking. He didn’t have many followers at all.
Until one day, a girl named Willow stumbled upon his blog quite by accident. She was astounded and slightly offended by his pictures of women with big boobs so she wrote to him. She wasn’t very nice so was shocked when Duckface wrote her back. His response was so eloquent, so full of life…she just had to know more about him. So they wrote and they wrote and they wrote until one day, Duckface asked Willow to visit him on the Road to Nowhere. How could she say no? By this time, she had fallen in love with this mysterious man who refused to send her a picture of himself. Her brain said no, but her heart said yes!
They decided to meet atop a hillside at the corners of Freaky Friday Boulevard and Dirty Road. Duckface insisted they meet at night, which was spooky, but Willow didn’t care. She just wanted to meet the man who had intrigued her for so long! And so they met. Oh! the fireworks! You see, Willow was also a victim of the duckface pandemic and she too was stuck! It was truly love at first site! Their duck lips met and things were never the same for either of them.
They lived peacefully on the Road to Nowhere. They had children, one a little rocker baby, whom they home-schooled. They even made a friend named Anita Sayed and although she kept insisting they take her millions of dollars, they still managed to enjoy her friendship. They didn’t need or want her money but they appreciated the fact she never made fun of their lips.
And so they lived…happily ever after, never allowing their children to have their picture taken.