I started this Christmas day…
Today, learned it’s possible to be unhappy on Christmas Day. Who knew?! I’ve spent 43 years of my life being so overjoyed at Christmas time that I had no idea this holiday sadness could cover me like a bad rash. Well now I know. Now I must get to the cause of it.
Oh yea, I had a epiphany.
It’s change that is bumming me out. I’ve always heard we’re supposed to embrace change. Typically, change is a good thing. It’s a part of moving forward and progess is always positive, right?
Yea, not always.
You see, I’m a Mom. My daughter is my life. That kid has me so wrapped up in love that often times I feel I might explode. You know that kind of love I’m talking about…it’s the one where you feel your heart is going to burst wide open. Truly the best feeling in the world but this Christmas Santa has just become a pain in my ass.
My daughter is 10 and she’s pretty grown up for her age. She’s outgrown toys and Santa is now officially “off the clock” at our house…forever. THIS is the the THING that is making me so sad. I’m going to miss him. I’m going to miss the big build up and excitement that comes with waiting for Santa every Christmas Eve. This year, my daughter understood that Santa needs to concentrate on the little ones who want toys. She’s stepped down from babyhood and took a giant leap into tweenhood that has knocked me for a loop. Granted, I initiated the talk with her about Santa. Money troubles forced me to do so. She was incredibly mature about the entire situation and seemed completely unfazed. I, on the other hand, wanted to cry.
So there it is. It took me all day to figure out what exactly my problem was. It’s change and change was not my friend this holiday.
Having said all that, I do feel truly blessed. I’ve got the greatest kid a Mom could ever hope to have. She’s brilliant, funny, intelligent, quick-witted, talented, and understanding. It is that understanding from her, when I’m feeling not so stellar in the parenting department, that keeps me going.
Goodbye Santa, hello new traditions!